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Posts Tagged ‘scared’

I failed!!

I have lost what 3 lbs total.. Since I started, I am so mad at myself for letting my goal get away from me. I have to try on the dress on Sunday. I am so scared and angry at myself for not following through, which has inspired me to work harder. AT least next year, this time, I will be a lot thinner. I will not give in. I have found my motivation and that is I HATE ME like this, I have no self confidence, I can not wear the cloths I like. I want to be better..

I have been working hard, at least I lost some weight. I kept going up and down, and it is so frustrating. I am going to continue to work hard until I go up there.. PLEASE PRAY they find a dress that looks good on me. I am so scared..

BUT:

I have leaned one thing trough all this and at church, I have let go of my fighting spirit. The me that kicks ass when the devil knocks me down. When my car caught fire on my birthday I said. “Lets keep Going” (in some one elses car) and we had a great day!  It was a great Birthday. I didn’t let it drag me down. I don’t know when I lost my fight, but I think I found it again finally. Praise God.. Here I go! FIGHT ON!!

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