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Posts Tagged ‘time’

I am sad to to admit I keep going up and down 20-30lbs and it is driving me crazy… I can’t seem to break the cycle, be it exercise and eating right, to Vitamins… I want a personal trainer and meal planner.. I seem to be on a good track now, I am loosing again, eating more balanced and keeping active but its not enough to make me happy. I don’t feel fat. I feel like a beautiful woman stuck in a heavy suit… And all people see is the baggage around me and not who I see or how I feel about myself.. I wish so bad who I feel I am reflected in my looks..

I am not a vain person, but lets be real. We live in a world of vain people who can’t see beyond the cover…. They think what they see is who we are… Not true.. It is just a suit… Even tho I dress nice, and I take care of myself I still get stereotyped as being a fat lazy slob..

What makes it worse is most places except Walmart, only make cute exercise cloths small already thin women.. What about us us bigger laddies. We are the ones who need the confidence boost and to feel brave enough to exercise.. How do you think we get thin? Hello!!!! Don’t we get to dress pretty and cute too?

I’m so frustrated with my body I wanna get some blood tests done to see what, I need to do to loose the unwanted weight.. Surgeries are not an option, to much scar tissue and history. I wonder if my health insurance will cover it… Nutrisystem (Been there done that lost 40lbs but gained it back), is good.. Bu not good for long term…

I am getting on herbal life http://www.goherbalife.com/amelias to try.. We will see if it is any better… anything that helps I will do… I am pretty short on time and I won’t have a kitchen for a while.. So it will be easy… My main problem is knowing the proper balance, and what is best for me. The nutritionist at my drs office may be able to help… Maybe I can get the blood work done though her.

Blah blah blah…. I am not making excuses. I am very serious, and I wanna find a good place to exercise too.. I went to one gym.. OH MY! all thin pretty people, very rude staff.. Its a gym, where people go to work out, why be so cruel.. I miss Planet fitness so much. They were awesome.. The only other option will be an hour away.. No biggie.. I’m doing the application for it, It is a nice medical gym, way better then the one I looked at and it even has a pool.. Kind of like a health club… I hope I can afford it. this would be awesome….. Hey its a start. If i get in I’ll go 3 times a week..

I want to wear dresses again, shorts, I wanna feel as pretty as i do inside on the outside..

╰ღ╮❤╭ღ╯ Amy Jane ╰ღ╮❤╭ღ╯

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